A book has been closed. A new adventure has begun. Our oldest moved out yesterday. Brimming with excitement and joy, he and his friend of over 10 years packed their cars with his life-filled boxes, said 'Good-bye, I love you' to his dad, me, and his little brothers, and drove away.
My house is quiet, my mind is still, my heart is aching. There is no one to shoo off to work, make sure he remembered his wallet, remind him not to leave his iPod in his pants for me to wash, or nag about calling his mother to check in with her. My husband is unusually somber and I have no way of helping him.
Mr. Rebel is sad but knows his brother is only just over an hour away and will be back regularly. Mr. Pirate, the youngest, has had his heart broken. He cried yesterday before, during and after his brother left. This morning, his second day of school, he stood at the now-empty desk in the living room and cried. Mr. Chef's computer use to sit there and is now in the bedroom where Mr. Gamer's computer was. He just cried. Tears rolling down his face and this lost look in his eyes. It will be hardest on him.
I miss him. I missed him the moment he walked out the door. I don't think he knows how hard it is to let him go. I met him when he was 8 years old and just fell in love with him and his brother. They have been my life for over 11 years. He pushed my buttons, drew me pictures, made me laugh, made me cry. He made me a Mom. I remember when he thought my idea about starting band was kind of cool. I remember when he opened my younger brother's trombone case. It was almost as big as he was! Hmm. The look in his eyes upon seeing that gleaming brass... My brother became a hero that day. This outgoing child finally found his outlet, his avenue to shine.
*sigh* So, it begins again in a new book. A new place, a new city, a new beginning. He is reaching for his life with both hands but, thankfully, remembers to bring his family with him even if only through a phone call to let me know he made it safely.
