A test of faith

Frustrated and disappointed. And no one will be able to hear my voice, hear my thoughts. So long I have watched him struggle to provide, been happy for others when they prospered, learned to enjoy my simple life. Now, when He has smiled on us, strife and discord follows.

Family that should be smiling and happy are blaming, jealous, threatening. A choice that was made could have ended with chaos, hardship never before faced but instead we have thrived. A leap of faith came with great spiritual reward, more stability. A blessing.

I know this is vague. It is hard to explain. Just struggling to contain my irritation, anger. God be with me. Take my inner turmoil and give me peace. Give him peace. Protect my children and their family name. Give those around them the common sense to know that bitter words do not ring true.

A few changes

My life has been pretty hectic the last few months. For one, I completely blanked on mailing my SIL her birthday present because I laid it in the rocker by the front door and, being the guys that I love, my DH and two youngest sons laid their jackets on top of it and left them there. I discovered it a few days ago and now am hoping to get it out in the mail today.

Two, DH resigned from his job. The company he worked in for almost 15 years was bought out by another business. All the employees were kept on at the new company. All this happened on December 1. Since then, DH has been trying to find his place with them. They expanded the territory he was to cover twice over and his health started deteriorating. Much of my family remained unaware of what we were going through because he didn't want anyone knowing.

A gentleman that DH worked with for the entire 15 years at the first company had already left following the buy-out, telling my husband to just hang on for a few months. They would keep in touch with each other every few weeks of the next several months, checking on how things were going. Then came the news. The gentleman's new boss wanted to talk to DH. So, quietly, he went for an interview not expecting anything. It was done as a courtesy for the gentleman that had been a driving force in DH's business life for so many years. A courtesy that became a blessing.

DH ended up taking the job. He was hoping to be have enough time to put in his two weeks' notice, though unsure if he could hang on that long due to stress. It lasted two days. The final straw? Our 11-year-old crawling up on his lap and asking, "Daddy, when are you going to be happy again?" It about broke my husband's heart! So, he told him, "Tomorrow, buddy. Tomorrow."

And that was it. I had a day off from work, so I picked DH up the morning he resigned and turned his company car in. We then went to the new business and met with everyone. Then we went and bought a new-to-us car since there was no company car option.

Since the change, DH hasn't had trouble sleeping, he has stopped grinding his teeth and he smiles! SMILES! Given that DH's brother still works with the company he just left, we have heard how things are going. It took THREE people to cover the territory they insisted DH cover by himself despite telling them how bad it was.

We prayed so hard for their to be a good change in our lives. Something that worked FOR us for once. We have been so incredibly blessed and given so much. The Lord works in His time. Even though we are sometimes hanging on by our fingernails, He will always be there to catch us, give us a ladder, or pull us up.

So, enjoy the small things and cherish each other. When the big decisions arrive, all those small things add up showing that you can hold on through the storm and see the clear sky on the other side.

$12.66

Thank you, Lord, for the check I wrote for $12.66 today.

That was what it cost for me to take my van to the auto shop.

Hello again

Life has been busy and tiring. I have spent more time enjoying the little bit of time I have with the kids than updating my cyberlife. DH and I have managed to gather several things in preparation of our camping trip this summer with my brother and his family. We have also managed to deal with our van, which decided to act up on us. Thankfully, that was a snow day for the kids and a non-work day for me. Six hours stuck in WalMart, not the most desirable thing in the world when you know darn well you have a snow storm from H@** coming. Thankfully, I have a wonderful grandfather and mother who were more than willing to make a run up a ridge for me to get two new-to-me rims for my van. And just so everyone knows, the day my Grandpap can't handle a little snow is the day everyone needs to just STAY HOME! Lol! I love you, Pap! I thank you and God every time I get in my van!

Work has been crazy busy and I have no idea when it is going to let up. I have appointments tomorrow but they are going to go to someone else. Why? Because I procrastinated, that's why. I have to get my vehicle inspected and I know, just KNOW they are going to tell me they have to do more than change my brakes. How do I know this? Because it has been a whole 2 days since the last time my stomach was tied in knots and my heart was in my ankles. You know what, though? It's okay. There are reasons for everything.

Just like a church sign I saw the other day..."God promises us a safe landing, not a calm passage". How do we improve if there is no adversity to challenge us? Though, I would like a little less adversity at times.

There are many other thoughts running through my head right now but they are for another time. It is sufficient that I have three of the four boys home. DH and I made it home from work safely. We still have a home to live in, food in our bellies, and clothes on our backs. The long and short of it, I woke up today. So did my family. Tomorrow will bring tomorrow. Thank you, Lord, for the thoughts of tomorrow.

Life

Have you ever felt like the rope holding you from falling over the edge of the cliff is fraying? That just when it's about to snap you find solid ground under your feet and you are safe for the moment? I have had that feeling for the past year.

I have been blessed with a job I love and recently found out there is a good possibility I will get to stay on after our busy season ends. My DH has gone through some major changes with his job.

Our family was blessed with being able to come together at Christmas, though not for Thanksgiving due to me getting seriously sick at work. The time we got to spend with all four of our boys is a treasure I will never take for granted.

So, that's it. My life in a few paragraphs. God's blessings...

Mrs. C

Friday evening, my cousin's husband stopped at his mom's house after work, like he does every day, and found her on the floor by her bed. She passed away sometime between their phone call Thursday evening and him stopping by Friday. To add to the heartbreak, her granddaughter asked what they did wrong for this to happen to her grandma.

Mrs. C was an amazing woman. She was a widow who raised her boys on her own. They all turned out to be amazing men. My cousin could not have found a more loving, hard-working man. Along with raising her boys, Mrs. C was a strong and driving force behind several school programs her kids were involved with. She became a second mother to many kids over the years, giving them the support and comfort they needed. Sometimes even the kick in the pants they deserved!

Among her many talents was cooking wonderful food. She catered my wedding 11-1/2 years ago and I will always be thankful for her hard work. She never hesitated to greet me with a hug when we saw one another out and about. I was one of her "kids", after all. God bless you and keep you, Mrs. C. You will be missed.

So, if you have a moment or two to spare, just think of my family and send thoughts their way. It would mean so much. Thank you.

A few moments...

A few moments to share an update. I really like my job at David's Bridal. My managers are fabulous and the other consultants are great! I love Ms. Becky in our Alterations Department. She actually reminds me of my Grandma M. The work environment is great. They are all a bit like a loving disfunctional family. Crazy but still willing to claim you! Lol!

My mom and MIL have made it possible for me to work and I don't know where we would be without them. Slowly but surely things are getting squared away at home. I was very sick over Thanksgiving holiday so we were not able to have everyone over. I ended up getting sick earlier in the week, losing my voice to go along with it, but I continued to try and work. All was well until I got sick AT work. Luckily, not all over a wedding dress. I left shortly thereafter and was five minutes from home when I got sick again, this time at stop light (thank you!). Made life interesting. Mom was at the house with the boys already and told me that I wasn't going to be worth anything to just go to bed and she would stay until John got home. Sleep is an amazing cure. A few hours of hard sleep and I felt like I had some control over my body. It has taken until just yesterday for me to feel more like myself.

There are a few things going on with John's job but God will walk us through them. He has a plan and I pray I have the faith to trust Him. John seems okay but I feel like there is another shoe waiting to drop.

Jonathan has been doing well with his classes at PCI and seems to really enjoy it. He would love to have a different job right now but, as he says, it pays the bills. Isaac seems content with where he is right now. He is waiting on Alysha to transfer to the school down there to finish her classes. They are doing well together. The distance isn't so great (about 2 hours) that they aren't able to manage. I am proud of them for making this work. They have long term plans that will get started when she finishes school. For now, they are happy where they are in life and I could not be more pleased with how they are dealing with everything.

Mom and Grandma and Grandpap are doing okay. They just got Grandma's flu shot today. Her birthday was on 12/2. I thought about her all day at work but neglected to call her until yesterday. I apologized but Grandma just laughed it off, telling me she had a great day and thanked me for calling her. It's better than NOT calling. Lol!

Missed Dad greatly, yesterday.

I work all day tomorrow and then there is a company Christmas party that evening. Just thought I would share a quick ramble on a few things.

Stay safe and Happy Christmas!

For Family

Since my mom hasn't updated her blog since the WV Birthday weekend, I will try and fill family in on what is happening.

Grandma was supposed to have cataract surgery on August 18. Last week, at her check-up appointment before surgery, the doctor found a membrane containing fluid behind her eye. It isn't supposed to be there. So, he cancelled the surgery and scheduled an appointment for her to see a specialist in Pittsburgh on August 14, tomorrow.

Grandma is very nervous and anxious about it. She was hoping to be done with all the surgeries before Emily's birthday. Now, we don't know what is happening.

Mom has become something of a knitting whisperer! Lol! She has a group of ladies in a small community south of our town that have come together as a Prayer Shawl group. Another group has started at our church that meets every week with Mom. We also have a new yarn shop in town! She has just started, so she carries the basics and a few specialty yarns but is building her stock based on what her customers are looking for instead of stocking everything and stuff not selling. The shop hosted a Knit til You Drop night a few weeks ago and it turned into a weekly meeting. I missed last Friday's Knit Night because of feeling ill from a migraine that lasted three days. However, I am praying very hard to be able to make it tomorrow night!

Since Mom will be in Pittsburgh with Grandma and Grandpap all day, she has asked that I take Tater, my niece. Mom taught Tater to knit just over a month ago (she picked it up immediately!). Tater has been going with mom to all her Prayer Shawl meetings in the small community south of us and has attended Knit Night the last two weeks. Mom doesn't want her to miss tomorrow's Knit Night just because she is exhausted from the day in Pittsburgh. So, I am hoping, praying, that God gives me a pass for tomorrow evening so I can take her. Oh, that reminds me. I have to fix something to take with me.

Deep breath

For the last two years I have entered pictures into our County Fair Photography Contest. Last year, my two youngest sons entered, as well. This year, the two of them are entering three each. I love them! Mr. Rebel is entering his photograph of the bridge, one of Sammy (Pap's dog) that he took several days before Sam died, and a macro shot of his Lego Locomotive. Mr. Pirate is entering a shot of a purple spike flower (have no idea what it is but I will find out), one of a trio of yellow pom flowers, and one from him running with the camera. All very cool photographs! I will post them later.

As for me...

Not a single thing!

Yippeeee! Yay! Whaaahooooo!

Lol! That's right, I am not putting single thing in the Fair this year. Maybe next year. Maybe not. I decided that the photographs I have taken the last year are for me this time. I framed my Baby's Breath photo I posted a few weeks ago. It is an 11x14 matted and framed in a 16x20 frame. I wired and hung it this evening. It is on the wall across from my couch, where I usually sit to knit and crochet, so that I can see it. It's a magical photo. A glimpse of peace God has allowed me to make mine.

I told my DH that I feel great about my decision not to put anything in the Fair. Real great. Calm and relaxed. No pressure. With all the stress that we have gone through in the last two months or so, I just needed a break. This year, for my own little family, the fair will be about our boys. On the extended side, my mom and two aunts are entering photos, as well as my older brother's three kids. I don't know if his wife is going to enter any, and honestly, I don't really care. If that makes me seem callous...well, I won't apologize. I do that too much.

For my family that is entering the contest, I wish them luck. Regardless of who wins a blue ribbon or not, being able to share how you see the world is wonderful. Each person sees something different, something unique to them. That is what makes photography such a personal endeavor. It a bit of your soul put on paper.

. . . so this was a bit of a ramble. More of my inner thoughts and feelings than I have put down in a while. I have been so caught up in others' perception of me that I was beginning to lose me. I think I will go find me. Should be an interesting journey.

Quick update

Last Wednesday, my Uncle Joe and I went to get my van. It was such a wonderful trip! I laughed and giggled almost the entire way down. Life has thrown so much at this family that staying connected has become something of a chore. It was so nice to get to spend time with my Uncle.

I remember as a child, him coming to visit us. For years, he was a truck driver and was all over the country. Any time he got near us in Louisiana, Mom or Dad would make the trips to the truck stops to pick him up. Many times, my brothers and I were lucky enough to go with them. My mom has told me she remembers the "yeah, right..." looks on people's faces when we three kids would go running through the truck stop restaurants calling, "Uncle Joe! Uncle Joe!" and climb up his tall frame to hug his neck. Seriously, people! He's married to my mom's sister! Lol!

It was always a treat when Uncle Joe came. One year we even got him for Christmas, I think. We got him for his birthday a few times, too. Those visits were so special to us. So many times he would have to wait until after we kids had gone to school before he could leave because I would cry so much.

Then there was the year Aunt Martha and Uncle Joe came for an official summer vacation visit! They even brought my cousins Matt and Malissa! Oh, we had so much fun that summer! Left turn! Right turn! Lol! (family joke...)

So, the van works fine. It took the whole trip back for me to become accustomed to the way it drove, again. With the transmission fixed, it actually drives better than before and gaining more speed than necessary was an issue for a bit. Overall, it is wonderful to have my van back. Thank you, God, for our miracle.

A sadder note, today. Sam has died.

Sam, our Sam. He was my grandpap's dog. He is from the litter of pups that my dad's dog had 15 years ago. Many of her pups stayed in the family. Peaches went to Aunt Nancy's house because she fell asleep on Uncle Richard's foot and he fell in love. Sassafras's went to Aunt Martha's and Uncle Joe's house. Sugar became my Mom's dog. And Sam. Sam became Pap's boy.

Sam went everywhere with Pap. So many times I have felt that Sam was more than a dog. True, our family has treated the family pets as members of the family but Sam was something more. Sam was Pap's. Those two were made for each other. Today, Pap's heart is breaking. Today, Sam isn't hurting anymore. The last few weeks has been so hard. He lost Sugar, his sister and house mate. He was fast losing the ability to walk. He couldn't eat right. Just this weekend he started vomiting black stuff and a growth appeared on his side.

Today, Sam is better. Today, we are left to silence, no barking, no panting, no dog collar jingling through the house. Today, we remember the gift that was Sam and the joy he brought my grandpap. Sam was more precious than he could have ever known. Thank you, God, for the time we had him in our family. He was a true blessing. Sam - Taken Wednesday, July 15, 2009, by my 10 year old son.

Today was rather...en"lighten"ing

As is obvious from my blog badge to the right, I suffer from debilitating migraines. Several on my side of the family do. For the past several years I have been going to my general physician and, in just the last year, a neurologist. When I was referred to the neurologist, I was filled with such anticipation. I had done my research on him and really felt he would be able to help me move forward with my migraines and see improvement. Together, we would be able to figure out if there was an underlying problem.

I have been so disappointed. Despite my efforts of thinking positive thoughts about the whole situation, I have come to the realization that this neurologist, for all his awards and accolades in the field of migraine research, is basically a joke. Having this need to research and learn all I can about migraines, I know that one of the first things many neurologists do for migraine sufferers is to send them for scans and other tests. I had ONE, yes ONE, run of blood work. Then, last summer, I ended up in his office on an emergency visit (honestly thinking I was going to die...and apparently, he thought so, too), I received an oxygen treatment that made it worse. I have one medication that I take for my migraines. ONE. It works. That's all I need. Just keep it coming!

However, this man thought that he should give me everything under the son. He knew I researched everything yet he continued to give me meds that I already vetoed. I refused to take anything with similar side-effects to Topamax but he still tried. He gave me fibromyalgia medication! For MIGRAINE! Yes, I know that some of those meds are found to prevent migraine but COME ON! I was getting med patches to put on my back, nasal sprays that burned my sinuses, awakening meds that they give to ADD/ADHD patients, and migraine meds that made the pain worse... Every time he would give me more meds, I would tell him, just give me another 'script for my Maxalt. We can stay with it for now. My migraines are changing as it is and I don't want to screw with them too much. He completely ignored me.

So, to my point. I went to my general physician's offices today. While I did not see my doctor personally, I did see my Uncle J (my mom's first cousin but all of us kids grew up calling that generation Aunt or Uncle...it was easier) who is an x-ray tech and PA there, as well as another PA/resident. I trust the people in this office. After explaining everything above to the PA, and telling her NO, I had not had any scans done, she was horrified! She had done a rotation with this neurologist and understood my dismay and disappointment. She immediately got me a 'script for my meds. After taking my bag full of medications my neurologist gave me, she showed them to Dr K in his office (next to my exam room). I could here him yelling through the wall! Lol! "Why in the WORLD is he giving Jenny all this crap!? She has MIGRAINE, not fibromyalgia pain! She's had migraine since she was a kid! What is he thinking?" *sigh* I love my doctor. It pays to go see a man that went to school with your parents. Sometimes. Other times it sucks because he tattles on you. Gotta love small town, old-school doctors. The best medicine sometimes is to tell 'mommy'! Lol!

Anyway, after almost a year of seeing this neurologist, I got fed up and went back to my general physician. Within 3o minutes, I was getting scheduled for an MRI. I don't know when yet, I have just been put on the roster for scheduling. They will call me by Friday. I have a few samples of my meds until I can get my 'script filled.

So, the play on words within my title? I feel lighter. My chest doesn't feel as tight. My DH doesn't have as many worry lines around his eyes. With my migraines changing and getting worse, he has been so worried. I try not to tell him how bad they are but he knows. He always does. I just hate it when he fusses. So, even though I am not out of the woods, I feel a little lighter, I can breathe a little easier, knowing that I can take a step forward instead of walking in circles.

Oh, and I leave tomorrow morning to get my van. God is good. We just have to stay on the Path to see it. No matter how many times we tell ourselves AAA won't cover it, just stay on the Path.

The last few weeks...

The last few weeks have been rather busy and stressful. On Independence Day we took Jonathan (aka Mr. Chef) to Pittsburgh and moved him into the dorms at PCI. He returned with us for one last family summer holiday and went back the next day. He loves it up there! He has figured out how to get to the grocery store using the transit system (only took two hours to figure out the six block trip) so that he knew which bus to get on should there be inclimate weather. He loves his classes! DH and I are so proud of him. We miss him terribly.

Now that both the older boys have moved out of the house, we moved the younger two into the bigger bedroom the older two just vacated. Isaac and Jonathan still have a place to come home to it's just the smaller bedroom. They assured us that a place to sleep and stash a few articles of clothing was just fine. It's still hard to realize that they aren't here anymore. I know Isaac has been moved out since last September but moving the younger two into the bigger room made everything seem so final.

DH and I are so proud of both the older boys - young men, really - and all they have done in their lives. Isaac has been able to maintain an apartment and a steady job while he was going to school and continues to do so since finishing his courses. That isn't something easy to do in today's economy, let alone while living in a college town. He is so grown up when he visits. I miss the little boy that was all knees and elbows, crawling onto my lap and falling asleep during church. *sigh* Memories...

Speaking of visits, Isaac did come up last week. His landlord hasn't fixed the washing machine, yet, and he needed clothes washed. As we have told him to do, he brought the clothes home. The younger two boys loved Isaac being home! They played video games and Yugioh card game. I would have enjoyed the visit much more had I not decided earlier in the day to sort through our metal storage building. Despite the fact that I drank enough water to turn me into a fish, I dehydrated...drastically! The culmination of said dehydration? A wonderful migraine that tipped my pain scale at a level 9. During the entire 20+ years I have been suffering from migraine, I can count on ONE HAND the amount of times I have been physically ill from the pain. I don't think I will ever eat another pickle again. Ever. And I love pickles. But not after this.

I was still dealing with the pain the next day and the weakness and lethargy lasted almost the entire weekend. My negligence in not wearing my medical alert is no more. I had become complacent in putting it on in the mornings, thinking it wasn't such a big deal as long as I had a card in my wallet. Yeah, not so much. I have once again put it on every day.

I rarely ask anything of the few readers who come to my blog. However, I am asking for prayers. My DH's cousin had an emergency c-section on Friday due to severe hemorraging. Her little girl didn't make it. We almost lost DH's cousin, too. So, please, though I give you no names, keep that family in your prayers and thoughts.

On a happier note...my van is ready. I pick it up on Wednesday. Praise God! Things may not happen in our time but they do happen in His time. He has taught me patience and humility in the last few months. A lesson I hope to retain.

Nature's Wrath

Last evening was an adventure I would rather not repeat.

Following VBS, we exited the church to find the skies north of us dark and ominous, while those to the south looked like the perfect spring/summer evening, dotted with pink cotton candy clouds. Then enters the tornado warning. We live in WV, people!!! I left Louisiana YEARS AGO, happy to be away from such things!!!

I race the storm home, drop my mom at her house and head to mine. Then...nothing. At least for an hour or so, anyway.

The lightning started about 9:30pm and, hoping to create my own therapy to help get over my fear of severe storms, I stood outside and took some pictures. After loading them onto the computer, I realized that I needed to pick up my 18 y/o from work. DH and I both thought that the storm had blown by us. I got two minutes from the house and visibility turned to...well, let's just say that high beams, high wiper setting and 5mph still wasn't good. I arrived in the WalMart parking lot in time to watch grocery carts drive themselves in CIRCLES!!! In SIDEWAYS RAIN! Yeah, the good little southern girl in me is screaming "Cloud rotation! Cloud rotation! If it was daylight, it would be green outside!! GET OUT OF THE STUPID CAR!!!" (Yeah, she wasn't very nice...).

So, with half of my body soaking wet after running into the store, I have to wait for my son since he has to finish locking up. DH calls me, "I am packing the boys into the company car and heading to Mom's." So, Mr. Chef and I continue to wait for a lull, however small. The mad dash to the car ends up with both of us soaking wet. He calls his grandmother to let her know we are on our way. The normal 5 minute trip takes 15 minutes. There are rivers in the streets that I probably shouldn't have driven through but I did.

After being at my MIL's for about an hour, things have calmed down. The rain is almost done and coming straight down, now. We leave. About 1-1/2 miles from the house, there is a line of cars waiting on emergency personnel to let them pass. A power line is down. And the have had to forcibly evacuate to neighborhoods just passed the elementary school near my grandparents' home. DH and I told them where we were going and they told us we would be fine. It's beyond us that it was still really bad.

DH and I discover that we have standing water behind our home. The creek looks like a raging river. There is mud everywhere.

But my kids are safe and happy, having gotten to sleep in their own beds last night.

This morning my mother calls to check on me and tells me that my aunt and uncle are in the living room. Uncle had to call 911 last night because the storm ripped the power line OFF their house!! The power company tech came out and couldn't work on it last night due to the storms continued activity and the the fireman, when asked how things looked in town, told Uncle that he really didn't want to know. Things were that bad.

So, today we will all assess the damages and be thankful to God for the life we have. Sometimes, it takes a good rumble to make us realize that things don't matter...people do. Blessed be God.

The last two weeks...

It has been quite an adventure that last few weeks. My 18 y/o graduated from high school (thank you, God, for that intervention miracle!), my oldest came home for about 30 minutes - he lives about 2 hours away - which was just long enough to pack his newly graduated brother into his car with a week's worth of clothes and a computer for a mini-vacation before we send him to college in July, and my DH and I have been working on our yard and garden.

Once I take some worthwhile pictures of the whole garden experience, I will post them. For now, I am just enjoying the fact that my patio is currently home to a gas grill and a patio seating set and THAT'S ALL! Lol!

I leave you with a lovely Pink Alyssum. Along with petunias in purple, pink and white, I have a multitude of pink, purple and easter Alyssum. Then there are the Hostas in the front beds...

Yeah, that green thumb I thought I didn't have is sure working nicely. God is good.

A blessed day

Today is graduation practice for Mr. Chef. I will breathe easier when he makes it through this stage of the events without a hitch. I am leaving in a bit to pick up my niece, who is also graduating, to give her a ride to practice.

Then I get to figure out how to make my mother's car window roll up! The repair shop doesn't have ANYTHING available. So, looks like I am tearing apart a car door. Hey, if I can change radiator hoses successfully and not know what I am doing to begin with, I am willing to give a window a try.

An end and a beginning...

If all goes well, on Thursday my 18 y/o will graduate. I will take a deep breath when he walks OFF the stage. It's been a rough few months but we are almost finished. Then, he moves. He's going to be in one direction, his older brother in another. They do like to make my life interesting.

When the 18 y/o moves off to college at the end of June (more on that later) my younger two will be moving into the bigger bedroom. Any remaining items (there will be quite a few) from the older two will be moved into the smaller bedroom as they will only be home for visits. Of course, the bunk beds will stay in the rooms they are already in. Since they are identical, I am only swapping mattresses! When someone wants to have their bed to move out completely, THEN I will dismantle a bunk bed set but not before! Heavy metal beds that were difficult to put together are even more difficult to take apart without destroying them!

So, the 18 y/o, Mr. Chef, will be moving out at the end of June to go to college. He will be attending culinary school. Classes start July 7 and he will be there for just over one year (year round). He will then have a 3-month externship that he needs to organize early if he plans on going over seas. Luckily, he still has a passport from when his father was in the Marine Corps and stationed in Japan. All it needs is some updating but half the battle is won by just having it. The school handles all the work visas for overseas externships, he just has to find a place to live! He's already talking about where to apply! Ye gads! I just want him to graduate high school this week! I'll deal with the rest later!

So, anyway, I am still saying prayers of thanks for the Lord's work in my life. Especially my van. Sometimes I get so caught up in all the big stuff that happens that I forget the little things that make life so wonderful. Like playing checkers with my kids.

So many times we try and do God's job of taking care of our lives. So many times we feel we are capable of handling every problem that comes our way. You can bet that every time we approach things like that, God is looking at us, shaking His head, sighing and thinking "You're screwing it up. Just let Me have five minutes. Just trust Me." And every time we still think we can do it without help, like a child learning to tie shoes or a teenager learning to cook without the smoke alarm going off. We think we know it all.

And then there are the moments where we finally just let go. We let go and let God.

I finally let go of something. I let go and God did what He had been trying to do. He took care of me and my family in such a miraculous way. Through someone dear to me, He took care of me. He helped me realize that my pride was getting in the way. I needed to be more humble. Two of the things I need to work on most got in the way of God working in my life. God's patience is unending with me.

I am so very thankful for the miracle he has helped me find. His work is subtle, at times, and at others He waits for us to finish banging our head against a brick wall before He pulls out the bullhorn and shouts at us that He fixed it before it happened, we were just too busy ignoring Him to listen.

So, let go. He just needs five minutes...

Quick update

Mom's home. My brother and his oldest son spent the night at my house. My two youngest sons had a blast with their cousin! It only took them 1 hour beyond bedtime and about a dozen reminders to go to sleep for them to quit whispering. A new record for my kids during sleepovers, actually! When my older brother's two boys spent the night it was closer to 3 hours and me feeling like a broken record. Of course, the road trip had my nephew tired to begin with.

I am still sick. Dana, I am sorry if I gave it to your husband and son! Really! We had a great visit despite my less than stellar health.

Mom gave me beautiful hair sticks from an artisan that my SIL found near their home. Even though I can't quite get the hang of ONLY using hair sticks, I can still use them as decoration after I anchor my hair with a band. My SIL made me a beautiful necklace and bracelet set! I will take pictures and show you later. I plan on wearing them with a black dress for my 18 y/o's high school graduation (Yes! Thank you, God, for the miracle of him fixing his flubs in time!). She (SIL) also made a great birthday card! I will take a picture of that, too. The great thing about Dana is just getting a card from her is more "gift" than anything! Her work is fabulous and amazing! Her oldest son is talented in that area, too, so I can't wait to see what he comes up with as he gets older and more confident.

So, it's late. As stated earlier, I am still sick. I am going to drag this tired, sore, stiff body to bed. A return post could take a few days...I hate being sick...

Rocks in the head...Water on the brain

So, my adventure with my van continues as I have YET to hear back from the garage about an estimate. Thankfully, my mom, who is still in NY with my brother (who is healing nicely from trying to rearrange his knee!), told me to get her spare key from Grandpap and use her car. Yay!

On Monday, Pap picked me up from the house so I could get Mom's car. He moved it into the front driveway so I could get it cleaned out a bit. Mom, I love you but your car does not look like it use to! Lol! I completely EMPTIED her car! No more cows or lions! Well, I did leave the cow license plate.

Anyway, while I was cleaning the car out and detailing a little bit, Aunt Martha came over. She hasn't been feeling well. The doctor told her that she had an inner ear infection but it was getting worse and the pain around her right ear was increasing. So, they were going back to the doctor's office. A few hours later, she returned. Now, understand, I love my aunt to no end. She has been the aunt that spoils you, teaches you, tells you crazy stories that you make her tell YOUR kids, and you are terrified of disappointing her. I have so many wonderful memories of my childhood that revolve around my aunt and her two sisters (my mom and her youngest sister). So, when I tell you that I laughed at my aunt when she told us how sick she was, please, understand I am not being mean! My laughter was based on genetics!

A bit of history; my mom has vertigo, my Aunt Nancy (the youngest sister) has vertigo, my grandmother has vertigo...for years, Aunt Martha has explained all this to people and ended with the statement that she "has curly hair". Well, that curly hair didn't protect her this time! She has vertigo!!! Lol! As bad as she feels with an ear infection and a diagnosis of vertigo, she finds it all very funny! She has an appointment with an ear specialist next week, I believe, just to make sure that she is okay with her hearing, as it has been effected, of course.

This was the view across from our hotel this morning. A beautiful morning mist resting in the valley. What a wonderful thing to see first thing in the morning; a great way to start the day before leaving for home.

Then things went downhill. Fifteen minutes after we got on the interstate, we were sitting on the side of the road, almost 200 miles away from home. The transmission died. Walking just over 2 miles north, we reached a gas station where we called for a tow truck. Upon its arrival, my husband discussed local garages with the mechanic and it was decided that a small garage just across the street from the gas station was the best place. The gentleman that owns it works on engines and transmission only and, according to the mechanic and the staff at the gas station, he is the best choice in a large area and is a very honest man and hard worker. People are willing to wait the week for the work to be done rather than travel 30 minutes away to a dealership that gets it done faster. Funnily enough, he gets his transmission parts from a parts dealer that is located just 30 minutes from where we live!

So, my BIL drove down to pick us up (he made great time!). We loaded everything into the back of his pickup truck and all three of us loaded into the front seat. Needless to say, I am home. Without a vehicle but home. Tomorrow my grandpap is lending me his Tahoe to allow me to transport my family to my 18 y/o son's last Band Banquet. Hopefully, I can get it early enough to finish up the last little bit of work I need to do on Pap's and Grandma's anniversary present. Tomorrow is their 58th wedding anniversary and I have had the pieces of their gift for a few weeks. Up until this morning, I thought I was going to have more than enough time to get everything done. Hahaha! It'll all work out. One way or another, God will help me get it done.

Overall, it has been a grand adventure. Now, paying for the grand adventure will be another journey.