Blazing Star

Thanks to my SIL, Dana, I have found out what that purple spikey flower is that my youngest took photos of at my Grandmother's.

Liatris. Also known as Blazing-star, Gay-feather, or Button snakeroot.

After reading Dana's warning about Lythrum salicaria (purple loosestrife), I started looking. One site that talked about invasive plants recommended replacing it with something called Blazing star. So, I went looking for that.

BINGO! That is exactly what is in my Grandma's front garden! I didn't think it was the Lythrum salicaria since it had not overrun the entire planting area (she still has loads of daisies and lilies that pop up and her tulips are as beautiful and strong as ever) but since I am not well-versed in plant life as Dana, I wasn't going to ignore it. Plus, Dana is just a fount of information anyway. I learn alot from her.

So, I know that my updates have been scattered, eratic, and random at best. I have been working through my yarn collection trying to get all the pieces I bought certain yarn and thread for completed. I recently completed another baby blanket out of bulky yarn (like the type Moo made our afghans out of, Dana) that was pink and white variegated. I am going to be making a christening outfit with some thread soon. Following that, I have some bamboo crochet thread I have been saving for a special project. Mom purchased a pattern book of purses and bags months ago. In it is a pattern for a reticule (a small, delicate lace purse) with a satin liner of any choice of color. I finally have all the things needed. Hopefully, I won't mangle the pattern too much.

I plan on making more cup cozies and coasters. Market bags and baby blankets are on my list, too. All out of worsted weight cotton or other organic material. My hands just can't deal with the acrylic. Maybe I can get away with Cotton-ease but I am not sure. For now, I will stick with my cotton cones.

Deep breath

For the last two years I have entered pictures into our County Fair Photography Contest. Last year, my two youngest sons entered, as well. This year, the two of them are entering three each. I love them! Mr. Rebel is entering his photograph of the bridge, one of Sammy (Pap's dog) that he took several days before Sam died, and a macro shot of his Lego Locomotive. Mr. Pirate is entering a shot of a purple spike flower (have no idea what it is but I will find out), one of a trio of yellow pom flowers, and one from him running with the camera. All very cool photographs! I will post them later.

As for me...

Not a single thing!

Yippeeee! Yay! Whaaahooooo!

Lol! That's right, I am not putting single thing in the Fair this year. Maybe next year. Maybe not. I decided that the photographs I have taken the last year are for me this time. I framed my Baby's Breath photo I posted a few weeks ago. It is an 11x14 matted and framed in a 16x20 frame. I wired and hung it this evening. It is on the wall across from my couch, where I usually sit to knit and crochet, so that I can see it. It's a magical photo. A glimpse of peace God has allowed me to make mine.

I told my DH that I feel great about my decision not to put anything in the Fair. Real great. Calm and relaxed. No pressure. With all the stress that we have gone through in the last two months or so, I just needed a break. This year, for my own little family, the fair will be about our boys. On the extended side, my mom and two aunts are entering photos, as well as my older brother's three kids. I don't know if his wife is going to enter any, and honestly, I don't really care. If that makes me seem callous...well, I won't apologize. I do that too much.

For my family that is entering the contest, I wish them luck. Regardless of who wins a blue ribbon or not, being able to share how you see the world is wonderful. Each person sees something different, something unique to them. That is what makes photography such a personal endeavor. It a bit of your soul put on paper.

. . . so this was a bit of a ramble. More of my inner thoughts and feelings than I have put down in a while. I have been so caught up in others' perception of me that I was beginning to lose me. I think I will go find me. Should be an interesting journey.

Quick update

Last Wednesday, my Uncle Joe and I went to get my van. It was such a wonderful trip! I laughed and giggled almost the entire way down. Life has thrown so much at this family that staying connected has become something of a chore. It was so nice to get to spend time with my Uncle.

I remember as a child, him coming to visit us. For years, he was a truck driver and was all over the country. Any time he got near us in Louisiana, Mom or Dad would make the trips to the truck stops to pick him up. Many times, my brothers and I were lucky enough to go with them. My mom has told me she remembers the "yeah, right..." looks on people's faces when we three kids would go running through the truck stop restaurants calling, "Uncle Joe! Uncle Joe!" and climb up his tall frame to hug his neck. Seriously, people! He's married to my mom's sister! Lol!

It was always a treat when Uncle Joe came. One year we even got him for Christmas, I think. We got him for his birthday a few times, too. Those visits were so special to us. So many times he would have to wait until after we kids had gone to school before he could leave because I would cry so much.

Then there was the year Aunt Martha and Uncle Joe came for an official summer vacation visit! They even brought my cousins Matt and Malissa! Oh, we had so much fun that summer! Left turn! Right turn! Lol! (family joke...)

So, the van works fine. It took the whole trip back for me to become accustomed to the way it drove, again. With the transmission fixed, it actually drives better than before and gaining more speed than necessary was an issue for a bit. Overall, it is wonderful to have my van back. Thank you, God, for our miracle.

A sadder note, today. Sam has died.

Sam, our Sam. He was my grandpap's dog. He is from the litter of pups that my dad's dog had 15 years ago. Many of her pups stayed in the family. Peaches went to Aunt Nancy's house because she fell asleep on Uncle Richard's foot and he fell in love. Sassafras's went to Aunt Martha's and Uncle Joe's house. Sugar became my Mom's dog. And Sam. Sam became Pap's boy.

Sam went everywhere with Pap. So many times I have felt that Sam was more than a dog. True, our family has treated the family pets as members of the family but Sam was something more. Sam was Pap's. Those two were made for each other. Today, Pap's heart is breaking. Today, Sam isn't hurting anymore. The last few weeks has been so hard. He lost Sugar, his sister and house mate. He was fast losing the ability to walk. He couldn't eat right. Just this weekend he started vomiting black stuff and a growth appeared on his side.

Today, Sam is better. Today, we are left to silence, no barking, no panting, no dog collar jingling through the house. Today, we remember the gift that was Sam and the joy he brought my grandpap. Sam was more precious than he could have ever known. Thank you, God, for the time we had him in our family. He was a true blessing. Sam - Taken Wednesday, July 15, 2009, by my 10 year old son.

Today was rather...en"lighten"ing

As is obvious from my blog badge to the right, I suffer from debilitating migraines. Several on my side of the family do. For the past several years I have been going to my general physician and, in just the last year, a neurologist. When I was referred to the neurologist, I was filled with such anticipation. I had done my research on him and really felt he would be able to help me move forward with my migraines and see improvement. Together, we would be able to figure out if there was an underlying problem.

I have been so disappointed. Despite my efforts of thinking positive thoughts about the whole situation, I have come to the realization that this neurologist, for all his awards and accolades in the field of migraine research, is basically a joke. Having this need to research and learn all I can about migraines, I know that one of the first things many neurologists do for migraine sufferers is to send them for scans and other tests. I had ONE, yes ONE, run of blood work. Then, last summer, I ended up in his office on an emergency visit (honestly thinking I was going to die...and apparently, he thought so, too), I received an oxygen treatment that made it worse. I have one medication that I take for my migraines. ONE. It works. That's all I need. Just keep it coming!

However, this man thought that he should give me everything under the son. He knew I researched everything yet he continued to give me meds that I already vetoed. I refused to take anything with similar side-effects to Topamax but he still tried. He gave me fibromyalgia medication! For MIGRAINE! Yes, I know that some of those meds are found to prevent migraine but COME ON! I was getting med patches to put on my back, nasal sprays that burned my sinuses, awakening meds that they give to ADD/ADHD patients, and migraine meds that made the pain worse... Every time he would give me more meds, I would tell him, just give me another 'script for my Maxalt. We can stay with it for now. My migraines are changing as it is and I don't want to screw with them too much. He completely ignored me.

So, to my point. I went to my general physician's offices today. While I did not see my doctor personally, I did see my Uncle J (my mom's first cousin but all of us kids grew up calling that generation Aunt or Uncle...it was easier) who is an x-ray tech and PA there, as well as another PA/resident. I trust the people in this office. After explaining everything above to the PA, and telling her NO, I had not had any scans done, she was horrified! She had done a rotation with this neurologist and understood my dismay and disappointment. She immediately got me a 'script for my meds. After taking my bag full of medications my neurologist gave me, she showed them to Dr K in his office (next to my exam room). I could here him yelling through the wall! Lol! "Why in the WORLD is he giving Jenny all this crap!? She has MIGRAINE, not fibromyalgia pain! She's had migraine since she was a kid! What is he thinking?" *sigh* I love my doctor. It pays to go see a man that went to school with your parents. Sometimes. Other times it sucks because he tattles on you. Gotta love small town, old-school doctors. The best medicine sometimes is to tell 'mommy'! Lol!

Anyway, after almost a year of seeing this neurologist, I got fed up and went back to my general physician. Within 3o minutes, I was getting scheduled for an MRI. I don't know when yet, I have just been put on the roster for scheduling. They will call me by Friday. I have a few samples of my meds until I can get my 'script filled.

So, the play on words within my title? I feel lighter. My chest doesn't feel as tight. My DH doesn't have as many worry lines around his eyes. With my migraines changing and getting worse, he has been so worried. I try not to tell him how bad they are but he knows. He always does. I just hate it when he fusses. So, even though I am not out of the woods, I feel a little lighter, I can breathe a little easier, knowing that I can take a step forward instead of walking in circles.

Oh, and I leave tomorrow morning to get my van. God is good. We just have to stay on the Path to see it. No matter how many times we tell ourselves AAA won't cover it, just stay on the Path.

The last few weeks...

The last few weeks have been rather busy and stressful. On Independence Day we took Jonathan (aka Mr. Chef) to Pittsburgh and moved him into the dorms at PCI. He returned with us for one last family summer holiday and went back the next day. He loves it up there! He has figured out how to get to the grocery store using the transit system (only took two hours to figure out the six block trip) so that he knew which bus to get on should there be inclimate weather. He loves his classes! DH and I are so proud of him. We miss him terribly.

Now that both the older boys have moved out of the house, we moved the younger two into the bigger bedroom the older two just vacated. Isaac and Jonathan still have a place to come home to it's just the smaller bedroom. They assured us that a place to sleep and stash a few articles of clothing was just fine. It's still hard to realize that they aren't here anymore. I know Isaac has been moved out since last September but moving the younger two into the bigger room made everything seem so final.

DH and I are so proud of both the older boys - young men, really - and all they have done in their lives. Isaac has been able to maintain an apartment and a steady job while he was going to school and continues to do so since finishing his courses. That isn't something easy to do in today's economy, let alone while living in a college town. He is so grown up when he visits. I miss the little boy that was all knees and elbows, crawling onto my lap and falling asleep during church. *sigh* Memories...

Speaking of visits, Isaac did come up last week. His landlord hasn't fixed the washing machine, yet, and he needed clothes washed. As we have told him to do, he brought the clothes home. The younger two boys loved Isaac being home! They played video games and Yugioh card game. I would have enjoyed the visit much more had I not decided earlier in the day to sort through our metal storage building. Despite the fact that I drank enough water to turn me into a fish, I dehydrated...drastically! The culmination of said dehydration? A wonderful migraine that tipped my pain scale at a level 9. During the entire 20+ years I have been suffering from migraine, I can count on ONE HAND the amount of times I have been physically ill from the pain. I don't think I will ever eat another pickle again. Ever. And I love pickles. But not after this.

I was still dealing with the pain the next day and the weakness and lethargy lasted almost the entire weekend. My negligence in not wearing my medical alert is no more. I had become complacent in putting it on in the mornings, thinking it wasn't such a big deal as long as I had a card in my wallet. Yeah, not so much. I have once again put it on every day.

I rarely ask anything of the few readers who come to my blog. However, I am asking for prayers. My DH's cousin had an emergency c-section on Friday due to severe hemorraging. Her little girl didn't make it. We almost lost DH's cousin, too. So, please, though I give you no names, keep that family in your prayers and thoughts.

On a happier note...my van is ready. I pick it up on Wednesday. Praise God! Things may not happen in our time but they do happen in His time. He has taught me patience and humility in the last few months. A lesson I hope to retain.

An Anniversary Flower

Convallaria Majalis
(Lily of the Valley)

Simple Beauty

Bellis Perennis
(Daisy)

Unbelievably soft!

Artemisia
(Wormwood/Silver Sage/Silver Mound/Sagebrush/Mugwort)